Audio Described | Official The Deep Blue Sea | National Theatre at Home Full Performance

words on screen National Theatre live welcome to this introduction to the deep blue sea written my turn Ratigan it's directed by Carrie Cracknell the stream performance runs for approximately two hours for the short interval of 1 mins and 30 seconds this description has been written by Russ Chalmers and Lewis fryer and recorded by Louise fryer the story takes place in the early 1950s in a lodging house in that book Grove in London the set takes up the entire width and height of the Littleton stage two flats in the house are visible one above the other but the upper flat is merely a suggestion a fireplace in the back wall with the standard lamp beside it a center front door tall sash called windows in the left and right hand walls where a dim blue light seeps through this upper flattest largely cloten dark blue light casting long Santas shadows on the walls the division between upper and lower storeys is suggested by a friend ceiling supported by scaffold poles jutting out about a metre from the walls the bottom flat is fleshed out in much more detail it has love two walls colored a deep aquamarine blue they appear solid but this is deceptive the back walls made of gauze and at times becomes transparent allowing a view into the hallway beyond were residents hurry up and down a zigzagging white staircase that leads to a third unseen floor the flat is divided into a living area on the left and a kitchen on the right there's a bay window to the left with three tall sash windows covered by sheer pale blue curtains at the beginning of the play the windows had the same dim blue light as the flat above so there's no view there's no physical division between the two rooms which had the same gray linoleum flooring but the living area is determined by a jumble of mismatched furniture there's a low backed / green couch side on to us in the bay window her painted canvas leans up against it only the back visible in front of the couch a large trunk is used as a coffee table a bench are posted in pink faces it behind this is the gold upholstered armchair and against the back walls is a side table holding a small easel and a pot stuffed with paint brushes traces of 1920s and 30 art deco-style remain in the flats deco the back wall has a chimney breast with a fireplace a gas fire is set into it the fireplace surround has a symmetrical pattern of white squares divided by blue lines with the great frame by slender blue columns there's a dusty Art Deco mirror propped on the mantelpiece alongside accomplished unframed canvas of a yellow rose in the glass jar and a white bakelite radio light glows from a standard lamp to the right of the fireplace in front of this is a sagging green armchair with a footstool a blue occasional table stands beside it with a record player on top and a rack of long-playing records beneath – it's right tucked into the recess formed by the chimra breast this is a small grey painted sideboard with a black telephone on top the front door to the flat is in the center of the back wall mocking the transition between the living area and the kitchen gas meters are attached at the wall to the right of the door and just beyond it a short internal corridor least through to a bedroom unseen at first the right half of the room is occupied by the kitchen against this back wall on the left there's a greenish gray kitchen table with two grey painted chairs it's set for a meal for 2 with a pair of glass tumblers and two plates this also crimson shaded lamp and a clip top glass jar the cause but wall of the kitchen is lined with grey units with such as doors covered by wire mesh the work services are strewn with items a rack of cheap green crockery cooking utensils a bread bin at a kettle a tall grey shelf unit to the far right holds more pots and crocks at times the lighting reveals that the back wall of the kitchen is caused through it it's just possible to make out the curved whites tattered headboard of a double bed the view becomes clearer when twin wall lights are illuminated above the bed and a door on the far side of the bed that leads through to the bathroom stands open there's a tall narrow window in the right-hand wall with same enigmatic use of blue light as the others below the window is a gas cooker and is deep but the sink the stepstool waste bin beneath the flat is occupied by Hester Kolya played by Helen McCrory in her mid 40s Hester's an attractive slim figured woman with a hint of glamour fading more through circumstance than age her dark eyes flipped between his despair and adoration sometimes reflecting a friendly warmth depending on her company Hester's dark brown neck length hair is permed and soft waves with a roll back fringe at the start of the play she's dressed in a calf length silk dressing-gown grave with a faint pink floral pattern she wears a pale pink slip beneath and cream slippers later she wears her peacock blue wool coat with pleats below the waist and a square of four large buttons on the front she removes the coat to reveal a mustard yellow pleated skirt teamed with the crimson top with cap sleeves she has a gold bracelet on her slim wrist Hester's landlady mrs.

Elton is in her sixties mrs.

Elton has graying brown hair pinned up in a practical French pleat it hopes a friendly world weary face mrs.

Elton is old enough has seen a lot and be surprised by little she has a comfortable figure and gets about her household chores wearing a light blue check house coat with a beige skirt and a baggy gray cardigan she shuffles about in lohia black shoes sometimes putting on a cigarette mrs.

Elton is paid by Marion Bayley another of the lodgers is a German who goes by the name of mr.

Miller in his 40s Miller looks down at heel with a sadness edged across his face and in his serious brown eyes his dark rain hair is cut short and he has gray stubble he first appears in a sherrod Brown dressing gown and blue pajama bottoms carrying a doctor's bag later minowase grey trousers with a beige open nick jumper and white shirt with a collar buttoned up Mears played by Nick Fletcher two more lodges are Philip and Ann Welch Aniela married couple in their mid-20s Phillips of average height and build with a fresh young face chocolate side potted brown hair cut short back in sides he wears a two-piece dark grey suit he's played by Hubert Burton Yolanda kettle plays his young honey blonde wife and a sweet innocent face flickering with anxiety Ann's in the middle stages of pregnancy her bump a gentle swell under her blue dress it has a swing skirt and short sleeves and she wears 30 black square heeled shoes another visitor is Sir William Collier bill Cate by Peter Sullivan bill a high court judge in his fifties a tall and slim towering over Hester when at her side his handsome face has deep set brown eyes that breasts on her with concern his full head of graying hair slicked back bill dresses smartly with discreet good taste in an impressive gray wool overcoat with a gray woolen suit with a neat silver gray tie complete with the pin he wears black leather gloves and carries a black Homburg hat which he twiddles in his hands as he speaks later bill appears no black over and blanked in their suit hester shares the flat with her lover freddy page a few years younger than her Freddy is athletic and handsome but dark short cut hair and competent cheeky dark eyes he's at the ease with himself slurping round sitting back with knees spread often with a drink in his hand Freddy dresses in grey blue trousers with the cream shirt open to his chest revealing his white vest beneath a rust color bomber jacket complements his brown brogues Freddy is played by Tom Berg Jackie Jackson is a friend of Freddy's of similar age Jackie is black with a boyish face and short dark hair not quite as tall as Freddy Jackie dresses in tan traces and the light green and beige check shirt over white best with mustard colored waistcoat and navy blue bomber jacket he's played by addy Tommy were Aiden the cast in order of appearance mrs.

Elton was played by Marilyn Bailey Phillip Welch by Hubert Burton and Welch his wife by and a kettle ESDA Kolya by Helen McCrory mr.

Miller by Nick Fletcher Freddy Paige by Tom Burke William Collier bill by Peter Sullivan and Jackie Jackson Eddie Tommy were Eden and that's the end of the notes the play will begin shortly words on-screen National Theatre live counting to share three [Music] deeds will rise though all the earth o'erwhelm them to men's eyes [Music] the deeply see by Terence Rattigan film life by National Theatre live theaters around the world are closed and facing a devastating impact from coronavirus theatre and the arts are a positive force for our community in turbulent times as you enjoy this recorded performance please consider a donation to support this great industry to support the national theatre please visit national theatre or guk text NT at home 10:00 to 7:00 w85 to donate 10 pounds takes an T at home 22 7mm 85 t donate 20 pounds text is only available on UK networks will cost your donation amount plus one standard message the words fade to a black screen a deep blue blur appears across the center of the blackness slowly the little sand shutters open like a pair of jaws the blur resolves into a dimly lit lodging house with two flats one above the other in the lower flat a figures slumped on a bedspread in front of the gas fire three people burst in [Music] this is Paige this is Paige oh it's here all right they must have left something on wicked ways but something over your mouth oh it's not as bad as that it's coming from the kitchen I expect poker on all night I shouldn't be surprised comes in late with the worst do you know what makes himself a cup of tea and turns on all the taps in sight someone will blow this whole house up one of these days that's what will happen Phillip flies Hester God mrs.

Elton mrs.

Elton quick can a doctor or someone is his paradise a sting turn off sheesh I don't know this isn't turned off I can't turn it off me which is off it wasn't all rusted but he must have switched itself off mate help me get it to the window you take off it poor thing what's the point in doing a thing there is a chair you better turn around with nice so I thought Gotham 23 years mr.

Elton and me have never had a speck of trouble in these flats now this is page of all people yes don't come in you go on just tell me I get there as soon as I can and I said not to come in yes yes she's breathing where's the nearest doctor dr.

Brown no he's on his holiday I know mr.

Miller okay you're upstairs yeah he's not a doctor Phillip she's hysterical mr.

millets not a doctor mrs.

Paley mrs.

page see this aspirin empty no laws the cops you ground them in here what's the dope herself before the gas gas was off she was turned on but the gas was awful must've run out in the meat where's her husband I don't know bed hasn't been slept we ought to get hold of in some house but how she's opened her eyes mrs.

page mrs.

page who's mrs.

page it's all right everything's all right now [Music] don't worry mrs.

page you mustn't worry you're among friends Miller – is in she kept on saying Freddie and something about being happy like sleep and she said something about bad writer gave her bad writing it was I didn't hear forgive I just heard bad writing we found this on the floor the aspirin bottle how many how many where's the bedroom in here Miller scoops her up and left alone and puts a hunter eyes but it returns from the bedroom look darling hadn't you better get on to the office me it's alright for me but I don't like the idea of you being late I understand there's never watching on Monday so after all a suicide doesn't happen every day he seems to know his job alright let's hope it's just attempted suicide I wonder what made her do it Freddie that's her husband I suppose I think so yes I've seen his letters downstairs Frederick page a squire I've never liked the look of him she said poor darling Freddie doesn't sound as if he deserted her anywhere is he Oh husbands do you know occasionally go off on business without taking their wives mrs.

Elton brings the water and goes into the bedroom I just wish we could help somehow and by something in the mental peace yes of course what suicide note we should have thought of that rooster dress – Freddie it's in pencil very faint forgive my bad writing I expect that since you've probably taken the aspirin no no it may be wanted by the police police how do you suppose we ought to ring them our sordid business isn't it a suicide I wonder if they think of that when they do it police and coroner's and things I suppose we'll have to give evidence it's just an inquest yes but let's pray it doesn't come to that attempted suicide is a crime anyways people get jailed for it don't they yes well then you must have were not the police not yet anyway thought to get in touch with somebody though I wish to god her husband would come that letter proves he hadn't deserted her she expected him put it back exactly where you found it don't know if it was showing it was hot behind the painting mrs.

Elton returns how is she you didn't say she's looking better he's given her an injection of something that made her sick to make some black coffee some here ready I just need to warm it up mrs.

Elton we both feel to get hold of mr.

Page have you any idea where he might be no can't say does he go way off for now and then not for more than a night usually where does he work I don't know that he does work not regularly that says he's often here all day I know that I believe he's having to do with aeroplanes all used to be anyway selling no flying them I think test pilot is not what they call it yes you don't know for which company besides I tell you I don't think he's doing you Tony must have some relations in London we could get hold of yes mrs.

Elton Juno if mrs.

page has any relations and London no can't say I do can you think of any particular friend then haven't you ever heard her talk about anything no always kept herself very much to herself mrs.

pace you just have had visitors at me at all and they always asked for him not for her for their names I can't remember he'll try and help mrs.

Elton this is desperately important I'm sorry mr.

Welch it's the shock yes yes of course but look I think hard can't you think of anyone connected with mrs.

page we might get into touch solicitor a bank manager there is her husband of course I know but we haven't an idea where he is I didn't mean no I can't think of any worse is Elton what did you mean by there is her husband isn't mr.

Page her husband what's her real name I haven't said anything look mrs.

Elton if the police come it'll all have to come out anyway you don't need to tell us anything you don't want to but I do think that if you know her real husband you want to ring him up and tell him what's happened I don't know her real husband and what I do know I promised faithfully I'd never tell a living soul it's all because I picked up her ration book one day and then she told me straight out quite simply all about it now she haven't been able to get herself a divorce poor lamb well she thought mr.

Elton would turn her out I found her that evening packing her things I told her not to be silly as if I'd tell mr.

Elton a thing like that it's none of his business or mine or anyone elses come to that sure I'm right now Phillip this man Paige has deserted her and she had no one to turn to she's probably quarrelled with her family her friends have dropped her most likely so you think I ought to tell her husband about this yes mrs.

Elton it seems to me the only thing to do all right you do it I wouldn't know how her name is Collier see olly03 once they called him mr.

justice Collier so I suppose he's a charter a William Collier that's right Sir William Claire mrs.

Elton takes the coffee into the bedroom gosh do you think you dare finish I don't see why not it's quarter past 9:00 we ought to get him at his home whatever you do don't tell any work at the Home Office Phillip believes through the phone book Collier William but they were to one's a chittock Eaton square that's the one and waits nervously as he dials hello can I speak to Sir William Collier please no I'd rather not give my name just tell him it's very urgent indeed that it concerns his wife his wife yes I'll wait hello sir William Collier I'm afraid to have some rather serious news for you your wife has been concerned in an accident well it's rather difficult to tell you that over the telephone well if you insist gas poisoning and an overdose of drugs no but very ill no she doesn't know and telephony he's not here a 20-7 Weybridge village lebryk Grove yes a flat number three first floor you'll find a front door open yes there's a doctor that's to say she's being given medical attention now we're coming around at once did he seem upset it was rather difficult to tell he asked if Paige was here i brung him up mrs.

elton he's coming around I only hope we've done the right thing I think we have is she sitting up now drank her coffee quite peacefully of course still very weak don't you think we ought to get her a proper doctor I've got far more faith in mr.

Miller than in any proper doctor thank you very much just on a side wall for mr.

Elton than any of those Harley Street specialists ever did five guineas on oh five guineas how is mr.

Elton well a lot better if it weren't for this damp weather shopping for arthritis it's been I've been fixing his pillows all night long to give number-6 his tea and I haven't started on my whole yet give me a shout if I'm wanted with it would you be wanting me for anything more no mrs.

oh please this door on the latch she can have you a cigarette yes indeed Philip gives one to Miller my name is Welch I live upstairs in number five this is my wife are you friends of hers no my husband found mrs.

page this morning and we were just waiting around to see there's anything we can do there's nothing you can do you don't mean she's dying on the contrary she shall recover 60 grams of aspirin is hardly enough to kill a healthy child and the symptoms of gas poisoning are various like because the gas came out at the meter yes she couldn't have bungled it any worse could she no I must get back to my breakfast and I see no reason whatever for your remaining here any longer good morning he opens the front door but is she really all right I've told you after 24 hours in bed she will be completely recovered yes her body but what about her mind you make that distinction our mind is perfectly sound there is no choice whatever of any psychotic symptoms that would justify a certificate of insanity yes but she did try to kill herself didn't she so it would appear well what made her do that she wanted to die I suppose but man she tried to do it again doctor I'm not a doctor no don't you think you might try and do it again I'm not a prophet either in fact I make a fairly respectable living out of other people's pretensions to prophesy still if you want me to be a punter for once I would say that she probably will try again and try again very soon there anything we can do about it no Miller taste his bag and leaves Philip shuts the door behind him well that's a can of swine if you like he's phony that man I'm certain he is he was just trying to impress his with all that stuff about psychoses and things of course she's ill of course she needs looking after Oh Esther emerges should you be out a bit I came through cigarette there was a packet here last night I think have one of these oh no I wouldn't just make yours I know I ought to pack it in with me yes here they are she finds them on the table and looks around for a light yeah thank you so much Phil applies it for her oh yeah mr.

Welch aren't you we met downstairs once do you remember yes that's right and this is mrs.

Welch yes Oh Hester extends her hand hesitant and takes it you mind if I sit down I'm still feeling a little strange do you think you want to go back to bears no I feel much better sitting up thank you you've been very ill you know oh no just a bit dopey that's all idiotic accident wasn't it I'm terribly sorry for all this trouble I've caused I don't know how it could possibly have happened I've been out to the cinema by myself and I came back here well I remember turning on the gas fire to light it and after that as they say in novels I knew no more I couldn't find the matches I suppose the fumes must have put me out lucky for you that you didn't put a shilling in the meter first the meter yes the gas cut off automatically oh that's what happened yeah that was lucky wasn't it are you sure you're feeling all right now I'm perfectly all right thank you don't you think you ought to see a proper doctor have an I just seen a proper doctor no he's only an amateur a bookmakers cloth or something strange hobby for bookmakers club he seem very efficient horribly efficient no I'm sure I'm keeping you both and there really is no reason for you to stay I'm perfectly all right well the fact is I have something to tell you are you looking for something yes I think I left a letter lying around here somewhere and refused the note from the mantelpiece is this it oh yes that's the one you were going to tell me something you may be very angry with me oh I hope not I hope not – they said when we found you this morning you seemed very ill almost of death's door in fact mr.

Page was away and we didn't know where to get hold of him oh you should have asked me he's staying at the King's Head hotel in Sunningdale are you expecting him back this morning oh I did so he's playing golf I'm a golf widow you see mrs.

Welch every weekend I'm deserted it's shocking go on well I thought it my duty to get in touch with someone but we didn't know where your parents lived they're both dead anyway or any of your friends so I'm afraid I took it on myself to bring up so William Collier Esther's face freezes did you give him this address if she's coming around how serious ed it once Esther gets up I'm sorry if I've done wrong I couldn't no you see oh no no you couldn't it was mainly my responsibility lady Collier it was I who told Phillip he ought to ring up yes I see do you mind not using that name sorry uh it wasn't mrs.

Elton that told you she slipped it out by accident I may say your secret is absolutely safe with both Anna and myself my guilty secret it's very kind of you bear well I think we must be going but come along in you've both been very kind and very grateful there's no need let me know if there's anything I can do won't you well actually there is something you can do oh don't be the word of this idiotic accident to anyone well to anyone else that is I won't do you know my do you know Freddie Paige know if ever you should meet him you will above all will be particularly careful not to mention any of this to him might alarm him quite unnecessarily say a word either of us oh thank you well goodbye goodbye Phillip opens the door for his wife goodbye mrs.

Paige the one chest go Esther turns away from the door cigarette in hand slowly sinks into a chair by the kitchen table in the dim empty flat she gazed as Bleakley into space a head snaps towards the Sun she springs up an open set front door mrs.

Elton buses in Duster in hand you're up I'm sure you shouldn't be mrs.

Elton if Sir William Cullen comes I don't want to see him I'm sorry about that they got it out of me yes I know what shall I tell her anything you like provided I don't have to see him yes dear I understand would you like me to make you some more coffee No thank you mrs.

Elton there's nothing I need at all when's mr.

Page coming home I don't know sometime this evening I expect I'll come and sit with you if you like until then I've just got to finish my work No thank you mrs.

Elton I should be perfectly all right alone will you dear yes you can trust me who I didn't mean that didn't you whatever possessed you to do a dreadful thing like that the devil I suppose I should just think it was you were Catholic no I didn't mean that sort of devil was at the same kind anyway when you're caught between any kind of devil and the deep blue sea sometimes the deep blue sea seems terribly inviting did last night mrs.

Elton offers a comforting hand make you out withdraws it not a wicked woman and yet what you did last night was wicked wicked and cruel now supposing it had been mr.

Page and not you we'd found lying there this morning how would you have felt very very surprised nothing oh yes a whole lot more o universe more but he's not lying there he's playing golf when he comes back from golf he must know nothing of what happened last night do you understand me mrs.

Elton nothing that's the way you want yes that is the way I want it it's not money is it yeah no it's not money because if it is I was going to say about this flat Oh mrs.

Elton oh that's very kind of you and I'm deeply grateful but I couldn't possibly accept oh I know we owe you a month's rent but it would be paid I promise you in a day or two in fact I've got someone who's very interested in those two pictures there yes very nice she goes over to them oh yes you can tell it was very clever how much would you get for a thing like that well for the two I'm asking 25 pounds are you really well I never excuse me asking you won't you but it's mr.

Page in a job just now not exactly well not at the moment but he has interests in the city you know oh yes well perhaps he'll get himself something steady soon it shouldn't be too hard these days with whom in stiffin instead was the door Esther stubs out a cigarette and sits at the kitchen table mrs.

Elton opens the door to a distinguished looking man mrs.

Elton opens the door wider and stands a science fair William Collier she leaves closing the door behind her Esther doesn't look at Bill on the telephone enough to spare you the necessity of lying to me let's be careful what I say attempted suicide is a crime isn't it yes and I'm speaking to a judge I'm speaking to your husband we say cretin earth nonsense you were saying the person was any in the world perhaps I changed since I left you bill give the opportunity to say I told you saying you've misjudge me Oh mr.

judge a judge isn't that less majesty she's a mischievous smile why didn't you tell me you were back in London last time I saw you you said you never wanted to hear from me again last time I saw you I didn't know what I was saying how long have you been back from Canada that three or four months now Freddie lost his job you see well that's to say he gave it up wasn't a very good one and we know there was like Ottawa very much why didn't you answer my letter I never got a letter didn't you I addressed it to the aircraft firm in Ottawa and put please forward well we left rather hurriedly I forgot to leave a forwarding address did you say in the letter bill that you could have your divorce if you still wanted it having received a reply I'm afraid of taking those steps no it's very generous of you bill but still I'd have thought what you said before about the scandal would be even more operative now you're a judge I said before was exaggerated I wanted to put every difficulty in your way that I possibly could sit down now you're here bill it's nice to see you again have a cigarette thank you I smile fades she takes one herself he's playing golf Sunningdale lays there a lot these days when do you happen to run into him I've been back to Sunningdale since do you still feel so strongly you know I do well I know you did but after all this time no I suppose ten months isn't very long it seems so much longer does it Oh Oh mr.

lifetime is he being unfaithful to you know what he still loves you so much ten months ago you still love him yes well I still love him is it money no just money what he's got a job well not as a test pilot he gave that up some time ago but she stands he's working at the city now you know Warren a job where they allow him to play golf on Mondays well it's a sort of freelance job you see let's see what's Halloween look bill you're in the wrong track all right we do a month's rent but money's got nothing to do with it what is it then Oh bill I'm not in the witness box and you're never gonna get me to confess I had any reason to try to kill myself last night any logical reason that is you did try and kill us what why would the ballot to my mind was temporarily disturbed is it that the legal phrase what was it that disturbed a balance of your mind no I just a great tidal wave of illogical emotions I suppose what's gonna give a name to the emotion yes I think so but anger hatred shame and about equal parts I should think Tigra page yes hatred of myself of course shame at being alive I see do you bill yes I don't suppose I do can I do anything to help no but nobody can and I'm glad I found again you're looking so very hard no see I rather foolishly thought my indifference would hurt your vanity G pauses and smiles you must understand I'm remarkably inexperienced in matters of this sort say my bill almost as inexperienced as yourself just surpass her harm Gladys don't wear it what he wears his wrist she looks down there two slender gold bracelet Oh God it's an anniversary gift wasn't it seven we gave a good party that night although nice as friends weren't there oh I read symbols new book I didn't think it was as good as her last and tell me is David very pompous now he's Solicitor General not very Alice still is gay as ever Oh God didn't I give a speech that night was wildly impressed well that's what comes of being a clergyman's daughter as i was able to impress your erudite friends when put to it any wish I was as good with Freddie's friends oh no I'm pub calls I'm a terrible fish out of water hot brawls no you needn't look so shocked there's nothing in the world more respectable than a pub brawl more respectable or more unspeakably dreary she sits on the bench yes bull shakes his head and smiles ruefully no it doesn't matter the question I was going to ask is too big to be put into a single sentence yeah it's could be put into a single word well we might disagree on the choice of that word I doubt it there are polite words there are impolite words but they all add up to the same emotion that's my latest chip except the canvas nice what are you angry with page about things was the same thing that word we were talking about just now as we call it love saves a lot of trouble just as it is feeling so you haven't changed they haven't they couldn't you see zero minus zero is still zero how long have you known this from the beginning you told me of it I don't know what I told you bel I'm sorry if I lied bleh my convention love ringing you see I was brought up to believe in a case of this kind it was more proper for it to be the man to do the loving but how in the name of Reason could you go on loving a man who by your own admission can give you nothing in return oh but he can give me something in return and even does from time to time what himself perhaps you're right Hester perhaps there is no one who can help you except myself you again said he studies her well I think it's rather good a samba seascape yes you're selling space a anyone will buy it all about it no you went why not I don't want you to that's why not I like the picture and I'm prepared to pay for it you'll be the subject I wanted your opinion not your money who is it oh this is the man that looked after me this morning I'd better let him in Hester opens her front door bull walks through to the kitchen I told you to stay in bed well thanks to your ministrations mr.

mill I'm perfectly all right now she goes to close it he pushes through Sir William Collier mr.

Miller mr.

toad onto the light look she follows him to the window bill stays in the kitchen Miller takes her pulse um she likes to build lists except her tongue Willa gestures to her to close her mouth yes you have a very strong constitution you should live to a ripe mr.

Miller I'm very grateful for all that you did for mrs.

page Newton be Sir William I did very little for mrs.

page I think it mr.

Miller you're not a qualified medical practitioner you take it quite correctly the reason I ask is because a qualified doctor in a case of this rather delicate kind is bound by a certain code yes I have heard of it it's much the same as the English schoolboy code isn't it no sneaking I congratulate you on your knowledge of our idioms mr.

Miller I've spoken no other language since 1938 except for a year on the Isle of Man so don't worry Sir William or you mrs.

page I won't sneak a sceptic in your bathroom may I get it please he goes I'm not sure I like the look of him he looks too much like a blackmailer to be one I wouldn't be so sure we should at least have offered him a fee he wouldn't accept it test mr.

Miller if you were a qualified doctor there is one last thing that you would do yo mr.

cash thank you I will send you a receipt Miller takes the note and leaves how the study of human nature is after all my profession you got any more trouble from him let me know once relieved yes I need to be in court in 15 minutes did you bring the car yes it's still the Austin notes a new one well rather an old one the Rose bill oh I must have a look at it she runs to the window and looks out good lord you bought Flitton wonder he thought you were visiting in this low neighborhood you didn't tell him did you how is he he's very well there miss him you know I miss them all even miss Wilson that she's been pounding her typewriter with a positive PN of Triumph since I left there is perhaps a certain added flourish to her style they smile like that picture very much Esther holds it out to him usual habit that's very kind it's very handsome present which reminds me many happy returns of yesterday thank you Beth will you take it now shall I send it on no call for it when what time you expecting page not till about 7:00 I'll come for tea about five five twenty haight bill offices hand I do we should try and find a way that I could help you I try to find a way they shake hands and she shows him out Esther replaces the canvas beside her painting table scooping up some papers from it she makes for the kitchen head drooped she leans heavily on the sink gradually she lifts her head her eyes closed the light from the kitchen window slants across her face and throat she opens our eyes and we as a wave in the window Esther inches step by a fragile step back into the room supporting herself on the worktop as she goes she stoops and drops to all fours on the kitchen floor our body stretches on the cold hard floor one I'm reaching out her fingers curled a soft amber glow falls from the standard lamp a great whi light struggles through the windows she leaps up as the door flies open a freddy Burstyn tricks I've just done 93 down the Great West Elvis smashing job Jackie Jackson gave me a lift who gave up the idea of playing golf has started to rain it's pouring down at sunningdale I say a bloody great rolls was just moving up from here as I came in I wonder whose it was do you know do you think old Elton's latched out and invested his life savings he gives him a brief kiss shouldn't be surprised considering what he must make out of us did you have a good weekend not bad at one place my mattress took a fiver off Jackie mats bye and bye bye he was livid I wanted to double the stakes but he wouldn't wear it how much did you win all together seven can I have some of it please mrs.

Elton I thought you were gonna sell those pictures is there any coffee left I'm not now why not I gave one away he drops to a butter knife bloody silly thing to go and do wasn't it yes it was hell all right you're gonna have three I need the rest for lunch I'm taking a South American to the Ritz get me giving lunch parties at the Ritz South America look I'm at a golf yesterday aircraft business I got give myself the old intro to him you know one of England's most famous test pilots DFC and bar DSO will let old ex Spitfire Bull he seemed impressed I should think so it's a funny thing about gongs when you think what a lottery they were so mean a damn thing in walk steps a line shoot but in peacetime quite useful this boats worth bags of dough he's got some sort of tie up with vicars over here I think you might fix something I hope so anyway ought to be good for a touch I say did you know you haven't looked at me once since I came in haven't I Freddie why is that I can remember what you look like I haven't done anything you have I haven't done anything you're not peeved about last night are you you see the blokes wanted me to play again today and if I'd let him down funny on the phone I remember it wasn't any special reason he wanted me back to dinner last night was there oh my god he covers his face with his hand she doesn't look at him many happy returns Thank You Freddie I remembered it on Saturday – was driving past Barker's I thought it's too late to get her a present now I'll have to find a shop open on Sunday cigarettes or something now do you arrange anything special for dinner nothing very special steak and a bottle of claret I'll have it tonight come on now it's no more soaks please I've said I'm sorry I can't say any more come on no you can't say more Freddie who will say closer on her wheelchair give us a shot of those gorgeous dark orbs I haven't seen him for two old days Hester looks at him this is me Freddie page remember he kisses her passionately lift sir she's 20 legs around his waist and he carries her to the sideboard he puts it on top and pushes her forcefully against the wall Freddie Freddie releases her and steps back go and get dressed we'll have a quick one of the Belvedere to celebrate her face lights up she runs into his arms and kisses him Esther sheds her dressing gown shoot a better line without your beady eyes on me they get Biddy in company he lights a cigarette Freddie sits on the arm of the green chair and watches through the corridor as she leaves the bedroom and her pink slip and slinks towards him he holds out the cigarette hester takes it in her lips slides between his open thighs presses her buttocks against his groin his hands slipped down to cup a crotch she shivers and her hand raised behind it to fondle his through his trousers she pulls away he tugs it back for another kiss chips free remember with the smiler Tim has to goes into the bedroom Freddie puts his case in the corridor Freddie finds the dress can and fumbles in the pockets it wasn't cigarettes and the envelope addressed to him he opens it and reads the note inside yes thanks emotions picking across his face as he reads his breath quickens he tears the paper over and reason he glances towards the bedroom and strides out of the door the lights dim in Hester's flat faint images appear through their gloom in the flat above Miller takes out a sheet the light in the hallway comes and goes Miller leaves his flat and goes downstairs mrs.

Elton follows [Music] [Music] [Music] Freddie returns a bottle of scotch in his hand it flicks on the lights in the corridor he goes to his his painting corner [Music] he switches on the standard lamp by the front door and opens the door to his friend Jackie [Music] Freddie pours drinks Jackie purchase on the kitchen table Freddie shuts the window to keep her at the rain just because I forgot her birthday my god if all the men who forgot their wives birthdays were to come home and find suicide notes waiting for them the line of widowers would stretch from here to two jhana Grove further old boy I can't go any further now from here to John O'Groats and back and ending up at the windmill add up Jackie I asked around for help and advice not to let loose of flood of corn ey sorry Freddie only the way you tell it it sounds so idiotic you sure it wasn't a joke just a scared I've told you it wasn't I got the whole story out of old MA Elton she definitely tried to gas herself and would have succeeded if they'd been a shilling in the blasted meter well that shows you she couldn't have been too serious about it it's your imagination if you're in a state of mind where you're gonna try and bump yourself off you don't think about things like meters well I would they're from the man who once wrote off three spits bevor getting to put his ready under car that was different I wasn't trying to pump myself up well you gave a fairly good imitation of it the court of inquiry it was definitely a start up Jackie we're talking about something a good deal more important well you started it all I said was about the meat I know what you said about the meter but you're wrong I've been into the whole thing and you can take it from me that she did definitely try last night to kill herself and all because you forgot a birthday that's just a sort of black I'm always putting up with Liz I know tell you Jackie it's not me ready flat well I can imagine oh my god out women the end where is she now out looking for me I shouldn't wonder no thanks to Thomas having a bath after I read that letter I run straight down to Martin and after that I just did a bunk I had to have a drink quick and anyway I was damned if I was going in to hiss and fall on my knees and say my darling I've grievously sinned in forgetting your birthday if I promise you I'll never do it again will you promise me you'll never guess yourself again I'm gonna hold things to damned idiot there must be something else isn't anything another girl her husband had a lot of rouse lately no as a matter of fact these last few months I've been thinking we were getting on better than before there must have been some rather minor ones nothing like the real flame as we have when we first started what were they about usual things this is in the bay damn it Jackie you know me I can't be a ruddy Romeo all the time who can know though damn human race male part of it anyway what does she know about it damn all a clergyman's daughter living in Oxford marries the first man who asks her falls in love with the first man who gives her an eye well it's not that I'm not in love with her – of course I am I always have been and I always will be lost moderation in all things that's always been my motto have another only a spot I've got nothing on my conscience in that respect I never gave myself that sort of build up with her she knew what she was taking on you don't think it's the marriage question that's upset her I'm the one that gets upset by that no huh personally I can't wait for that divorce well this hole in the corner stuff gets me down doesn't it get her down too I mean a clergyman's door she jumped that fence a year ago I was the one that wanted to wait she didn't that was the first of our flamers oh my god it's so damned unfair supposing she'd pulled it off last night you realized what everyone would have said that I'd bust up a happy marriage and driven has to suicide I don't mean looked on as a ruddy murderer did she think of that I wonder who the hell would have believed what I've just told you anyone who knows yes with this would have been front-page stuff all over the ruddy news of the world Jackie think of that and this read out in court he scares the news I'd have been lucky to get out without being lynched the coroner would certainly have added a rider I was thinking at lunch today I'd never have been able to go into any restaurant again without people nudging and by the way how did that go you're losing the subject or if I'm boring you with this story just say so and we'll have a little chat about the weather I'm sorry I only wanted to know if he offered you anything that's all go on about Hess then yeah it's getting me down sorry Jackie I didn't mean to bite your head off that's alright Lopez yes he offered me a job all right good job test pilot in South America Lord that suppose you want to go to South America I didn't want to go anywhere as a test pilot they say you were the tops I was here we go since then things have changed a bit this isn't exactly what the doctor ordered for nerve and judgment besides I'm too ruddy old you've finished in that record at 25 I wouldn't last a week I want something chairborne how about flying for life you want mom no thanks do you think you ought to I know I ought to why am I drunk no it's only that I gather you've been at it most of the morning we'll be at it for most of the evening – I shall be as is until I forgotten that this ever existed doesn't that give you any more clues oh I don't think so squeamish don't you know a thing like that it's a bit private isn't it blasted private it would have been read out in court by the coroner there is that I suppose there is that you suppose all right I'm the coroner you're the public listen to this my darling a moment ago before I took the aspirin I knew exactly what I wanted to say to you I have run through this letter in my mind so very often and it has always been most eloquent and Noble and composed now those moving pretty words just don't seem to be there I think that's because this time I know I really am going to die look don't go on knowing cast as I do I'd really rather not hear the read I'm well gonna hear the rest I gotta read this to someone Lily it's addressed to you and no one everyone else except of course the readers of all the Sunday papers listen I know that in the morning when you read this letter any feelings you ever had for me and you had some will be driven out of your heart forever poor Freddy poor darling Freddy I'm so sorry sorry that is a clue you'll want to know why and I'd so much like to make you understand because if you understood you might forgive but to understand what I'm doing now you must feel even a small part of what I'm feeling now and that I know you can never do just accept it it isn't your fault it really isn't Freddy believe that you can't help being as you are I can't help being as I am the fault lies with whichever of the gods had himself a good life up above by arranging for the two of us to me Esther comes in my bad writing I think perhaps the drug is beginning to take effect hello Jackie hello how are you very well thanks yes have you been all afternoon I haven't been with Freddy I was at home and he rang up asked me over for a chat oh I see where were you Freddy a lot of places I've been to Mester then thought you might could I have that letter please whoa belongs to me there might be two views on that it's got my name on the envelope and undelivered letter belongs I should say to its sender she reaches for it please he slaps it into her hand she rips it up chef's the pieces in the bin she picks up the bottle of scotch he takes it back did you have a good game yesterday Jackie yes thanks I hear Freddy beat you must be getting rather good well off that handicap he is it's a crying scandal look yes I think I really ought to be dusting along oh no don't go please Freddy be going out in a moment or two and I'm sure I'd like you to go with him darling you haven't forgotten about being out what's the time now well it's getting on of course you don't want your respectable art lover to see me in my present state I don't know anything about your present state Freddy I told you this morning I'd like you to be out giving that one away the seascape I have I'm going to wrap it then what are you selling to this play whatever he wants to buy she goes into the bedroom look now ready I don't think you want to go and talk to her I'll disappear I've got time enough to talk I've got all flustered life time to talk to her you stay go easy on the Scott old boy I've told you I needed delicious oblivion look Freddy I don't want to be rude but you don't think perhaps you might be traumatizing this thing a bit too much dramatizing she's the one that's dramatizing that cool calm collected act just now you saw it that is dramatizing I'm just a bloke who's having a couple of drinks because he's feeling ruddy misra I don't expect she could be feeling exactly happy herself whatever you say about her act just now pause if she were Liz and you're in my place should smother her with tender embrace think I talked to her about it I'd ask her what the trouble was what I could do to put it like what the hell's the use of that you heard that letter poor Freddy you can't help being as you are she's put a finger on it alright what am I supposed to do it's about that little trouble right pretend to be something different maybe a lot of help wouldn't a few white lies there clocked a few white lies damn it man talk sense do you think she's as easily fooled as that you seem to see this as a little domestic tips that can be put right with a few kind words and a loving Peck yes tried to kill herself last night I'm sorry Freddy perhaps I'm a bit out of my depth out of your depth bloody well say you are I'm out of my depth too and it's the sensation I don't care for my god how I hate getting tangled up in other people's emotions it's the one thing I've tried to avoid all my life and yet it always seems to be happening to me always you remember doc during the war don't you I brought it down to the squadron a couple of times yes I liked her a lot Notah fun a load of fun until she started messing about with my service revolver she didn't know she didn't hurt herself or me or anyone else but you can imagine the fun got a little sour after that and then there was doesn't matter it's too many emotions far too ruddy many I'll owe them a sort of um fatale that is not so funny you know Jackie not so funny as says I've got no feelings well perhaps she's right anyway I've got something a site they can get hurt the way it's hurt now don't enjoy causing other people misery I'm not a ruddy sadist my sort never gets a hearing we're called a lot of rude names nobody ever thinks we have a case but look at it this way Jackie take two people a and B a loves B B doesn't love a at least not in the same way he wants to but he can't it's just not in his nature now B hasn't asked to be loved he may be a perfectly ordinary bloke kind well-meaning good friend good husband if he's allowed to be but he's not allowed to be that's my point demands are made on him which he just can't fulfill if he tries he's lying lying doesn't help anyone now if he's honest and doesn't try well then everyone says he's a skunk and a heartless CAD and coroner's ad ruddy riders I mean where are you come on we'd better get weaving Freddie sways towards the door no visit to Mina excuse me as mrs.

Paige in no not at the moment mr.

Miller aren't you yes and you are mr.

Paige that's right thank you yes I looked after mrs.

Paige this is Jackie Jackson mr.

Miller care for a drink thank you I'd like to know how much she said to you mrs.

Elton says you were with her alone didn't worry about him he knows all about it she said nothing nothing about why she did it nothing you know why she did it no if you like I'll tell her Freddie she did it because I forgot her birthday yes you don't look surprised I'm not I assumed it was something of the kind something so trivial nothing can be called trivial that induces an operative desire to die but forgetting a birthday yes that is struggle Riddler this bloke all right then what's the real reason what's behind the triviality I don't think you need me to tell you that well I'd like to hear it anyway yourself I suppose just about makes me already murderer a ruddy near murder look I really don't think you ought to say anything like that up Jackie I can take he doesn't know the facts fact what are the facts matter it's what's behind the facts that matters isn't that right mr.

Miller yes and what's behind the facts is me I suppose so little murdering me all right and my friend what would you do about it if you were me that's a stupid question Nature has not endowed me with the capacity for inspiring suicidal love aren't you lucky yes sir I suppose I am and what about a poor bloke who has this capacity for inspiring suicidal love what should he do about it refuse to love at all I'd say have another drink me never refuses my god what you've just said oh boy who's a load of tripe very possibly but as your friend has pointed out I know nothing of the facts one of the facts is that this character has no intention at this stage in his life of turning himself into a ruddy harlots oh I suppose he hasn't you're damn right he has no boy let's continue this argument down the road that new Club opens and for look Freddie I think I ought to be getting along Liz will be wandering little be wandering portraits of a happily married man mr.

Miller a man who can be fairly certain of coming home and not finding his loving wife lying in front of a gas fire mister returns with the canvas hello good afternoon I was just on my way yes oh no must you care must I'm afraid you're turning us out the flat anyway aren't you oh yes I know but I was hoping you keep Freddie papa yes I've got people come bad luck darling no nose for a little Freddie ready unless of course mr.

melih here would like to volunteer oh I'm afraid I have work to do well what sort of work curing other people's love problems no sending out a list of the latest prices for their st.

Leger humor book yes I should never have thought it what price is makeshift 100 to severide like 50 to 310 that is if you'll accept me as a client I'll submit your name – my proprietor it's not you many assistants cheerio Freddie goodbye give my love to legs better not give him my love Jackie by all accounts is pretty lethal good bye bye birdie drops his bottle in the bin just tidying up I don't think you ought to go out you know Reggie wanted me out your customer but mrs.

Elton could give him a message you can come back another time why don't you go and have a good life no I'm a good boy when I'm told to go I go let me shilling made it Hansel neighbour Freddie slumps to turn the table just in case I'm late for dinner he glares at Hester and straw that unsteadily the other two sit at the table to the new club down the road are you really working or is that just an excuse I'm really working she rents the front window he'll be much happier by himself than with me you know her what makes you think that because I seem to have become the embodiment of his conscience whose conscience you appear to have found something in that I miss they say the eyes of love are blind they say that's about the loved ones failing it's not about its virtues my eyes aren't blind they can see quite well I know they can – well to love with one's eyes open sometimes makes life very difficult even unbearable I said difficult I don't like being alone very well a shell volunteer Oh Thank You mr.

Miller oh I'm so very great now did you paint this one yes I only ask because it's so different in style to all the others I was 17 when I did that indeed interesting did you go to art school no this freshness and delicacy about this it's very striking you hurry to Freddy please I'm very anxious boom I know I came straight from court I was just leaving Sir William I have an errand to perform for mrs.

page and by the way I was going to put this in the post for you he gives bill an envelope and leaves bill finds a banknote inside Freddy came back unexpectedly he's only just gone out what is that receipt no matter sir it's a piece of insolence he's written on the back for quasi professional services received with thanks Camilla the joke's on me what was this errand he was talking about now I promised you tea didn't I I don't bother with tea moments of precious I don't want you wasting them with a kettle in the kitchen it is alright if I stay for a moment or two isn't it yes but I think so I saw pay it's just now did he see you no I was in the car just turning into the street I put the paper up he couldn't possibly have seen me besides it was quite obviously drunk what makes you think that this passage down the street was rather erratic well I don't think that can be afraid of you so here near the flattened moment again yesterday yes you've been having a drink with a friend a really bill even the judge can let his imagination run away with him how long has it been going on going on in the old days they hardly touched alcohol is that so I didn't remember don't you you never drank at sunningdale he said it was bad for his judgement as a pilot very well bill if in the last 10 months Freddie has taken to drink it must be I who drove him there what has driven you just suicide oh no I drove myself there Hester what's happened to you love bill that's all you know that thing you read about in your beloved Jane Austen and Anthony Trollope love droplet there's a gentle Dew from heaven no that's not right I know it comfort it's like sunshine after rain that's an unfortunate quotation go on with it forgotten love comfort if like sunshine after rain and lusts effect is Tempest after Sun Tempest after Sun well that would be very apt wouldn't it if that was all I felt for Freddie sober truth isn't it her sir God do you really think I could tell you the simple truth of what I feel about Freddie bill I've got quite a clear mind to clear I've just been told if only it were my mind that were involved but in sober truth and sober truth bill neither you know I'm not anyone could explain what I feel about Freddie but so far too big a confusing just to be tied up a little parcel and labelled lust lust is it the whole of life and funniest to me you see the whole of life and of death – it seems put a label on that if you can oh Freddie haven't finished all the whiskey go out no no I would stay in here wait developments more developments a large variety act off themselves when Freddie's on the rampage she says that the table and lights a cigarette what made us choose Sunningdale that summer is your idea you wanted the golf yes you'd have preferred the seed yes bill muchas around the kitchen no you never told me exactly how it first happened it was that day he went out to play for the Presidents Cup yes I remember I came up to the golf club to collect you to go into that party at the Hendersons he was still out playing and Freddie was there alone in chaps for a game was bad-tempered I'd met him several times up at the club before with the others but had never paid much attention to him didn't even think he was particularly good-looking the RF slangs to irritate me slightly I remember it for a fact I suppose no he doesn't because his life stops in 1940 he loved 1940 you know there was something like that it's never been really happy since he left the RAF anyway that time you're a long time over your grain yes were held up rather badly or a number yes and Freddie and I sat on that veranda for almost an hour for some reason he spoke very honestly and rather touchingly about himself about how worried he was about his future but her life seems to have no Direction no purpose how he envies you the brilliant lawyer I was going to him he meant it sincerely and then and then quite suddenly he put his hand on my arm and ma'am that's something very conventional about envying you for some other reason aside your career and I laughed at him he laughed back like a guilty small boy and he said I really do you know it's not just a line I really think you're the most attractive girl I've ever met oh no it was something like that I don't remember the words because I knew then in that moment in that tiny moment when we were laughing together so close I had no hope she looked sober booths gazing out of the kitchen window he spanked her that was the night you insisted on coming back to London with me wasn't it yes you didn't want to come back to Sunningdale the following weekend I remember no he turns when exactly September do you remember when we went up to London together to see that play with a meeting in the clubhouse was June June the 24th in those two months why didn't you talk to me about it what would you have set him if I had I wanna say to you now this man that you say that you love is intellectually and morally um now you're inferior and has nothing in common with you whatsoever the one who goes suffering from as a rather vulgar an ordinary infatuation and that it is your duty to exert every effort of will that you're capable of to return to sanity at once how would you have answered that I agreeing with you I suppose and it would have made no difference if we'd had children without have made a difference she walks away from him reality enough to occupy us bill meaning would have made no difference at all what I said it's fantastic to think what was caused by my decision to run that damn villa nothing talk to yourself or thoughts like that bill Freddie and I would have met anyway I think it's about time you believe in affinity I believe it was fated that Freddie and I shouldn't well it's a pretty evil fate as it turned out well if you believe in good affinities you must believe in evil ones too now don't forget to a present after all the trouble I took and wrapping it ready so many people who come to this place have a big black rose where's Miller Miller didn't you see him at the club never went to the club that's the same chauffeur isn't it yes a bill came to visit me because somebody telephoned him about my accident yes you've heard about her accident have you yes did you ever forget her birthday no no I shouldn't have thought you were a forgetful type you're a judge now on shield yes still making packets of money a certain amount you still love her Freddie why do you go and have a good light on bullying about you were never bullied like that darling to try behavior I'm just asking the judge here a simple question I'd rather like to know the answer so I suppose it doesn't really matter Freddie lurches into the bedroom and throws open the bathroom door sorry I think perhaps we better leave bill peels and sample way from the sink and walks past her without looking at Hester he puts on his coat she keeps her bank to him the answers yes by the way what the question Paige asked me just now the answer is yes he tends to look at her Laurie he picks up his hat we have to cope with the situation oh heavens yes this is nothing he's changed a lot it looks quite different he hasn't been well lately no I'm so sorry I'm so sorry bill is there anything I can say she holds the canvas out to him he fights tears she reaches up to kiss his cheek he leans into her he dates the canvas and ghosts or that a bank would glance she watches him leave and runs to the going to the needle on the record hunched up Freddie in a suit [Music] do you think you'll get the job and look at you oh you could have changed your shirt to clean one oh no no you had laundry is late again this week I watch one out for you in the morning yes too bad she slides her hands over his smart great waistcoat and smiles up to him Freddie inclines his head towards her Hester kisses his brow he clutches her skirt and bulls are closer they sweet together she noses him softly her arm reaches up to entwine him he catches hold of her hand pulls free and poses hands across his chest shoes need to clean yes oh no take them off I'll do them some how are they going to get shoe polish on your face God knows how he gets her his shoes oh what's the job yes I suppose I better tell you oh yes ready I think I'd like to know look I've got to talk for a bit now it's not gonna be easy so don't interrupt do you mind it was talk the hind leg off a donkey and just when I've got the things clear in my mind I don't want them getting muddled up again sorry Freddie but I must interrupt at once the way you've been behaving this afternoon haven't you have things clear in your mind I'm all right now I've had a cup of black coffee and after that a bit of a walk I know what I'm doing what are you doing Freddie accepting a job in South America as a test pilot test pilot No you've said 100 times before you could never go back to that you said after that crash in Canada you had no nerve no judgement left come back I'd had too many drinks that time in Canada you know that yes I know that the court of inquiry knew that does this man Lopez know that of course not even hear about it either don't worry about my nerve and judgement has a couple of months on the wagon I'll be the old days again the old days of a death thank yous that idiotic Aria slime do you mind Freddie this is too important yes it is important he says she polishes a shoe furiously where abouts in South America area oh I see well when do we start we don't we don't you and I don't that's what I'm trying to tell you I'm going alone he doesn't look at her why if I'm to stay on the wagon I've got to be have you oh well it's not the real reason look pass darling you've always said haven't you that I don't love you well I suppose in your sense I don't but what I do feel for you is a good deal more than I've ever felt for anybody else in my life or ever will feel I should think that's why I went away with you in the first place that's why I've been with you all this time and that's why I must go away from you now sounds rather like a prepared speech Freddie well yes I suppose it is I worked it out on my walk but it's still true Hess I'm too fond of you to let things slide that letter was a hell of a shock I knew often that you were unhappy you often knew that I was a bit down too but I had no idea how much the difference between us had been hurting you it's asking too damn much of any bloke to carry on as if nothing had happened when he knows now for a fact he's driving the only girl he's ever loved so suicide and you think you're leaving me will drive me away from suicide risk I still have to take you must scare me like this sorry this is on the level oh but you know perfectly well you'll feel quite differently in the morning oh that's not this time besides I don't think I'll be here in the morning where were you go somewhere it's better if I get out tonight with your gift of the gab you're muddled things up for me again and I'll be just a just one this is our last chance if we miss it we're done for with death to each other you and I no longer than I have I'm such a damn fool and that's always been the trouble otherwise I should have done this long ago see you know it's written in great bloody letters of fire over our heads you and I are death to each other she reaches for him he strides pasta she runs ahead to pick up my shoes he takes them I'm sorry has I'm so sorry don't cry please what it does to me all your things you've got to pack a cell phone and you promised you'd come back for dinner I know I'm sorry about that he's still for kiss you can't break a promise like that you can't he thinks they're a side and darts out the door she races out after him the lights blackout interval act two will begin in one minute and 30 seconds you [Applause] theaters around the world are closed when facing a devastating impact from coronavirus theater and the arts are a positive force for our community in turbulent times as you enjoy this recorded performance please consider a donation to support this great industry to support the national theatre please visit national theatre or guk text NT at home 10 to 7 w 85 to donate 10 pounds takes ante at home 22 7mm 85 to donate 20 pounds text is only available on UK networks and will cost you a donation amount plus one standard message national theater membership make it a nation that lasts national theater tour all UK for slash membership you the words fade as we've rejoined the audience in the Littleton theater for part two of the deep blue sea Hester and Freddie's flat in the flat abhava bathed in shadowy blue light [Music] lamps glow in the darkness whirring Hester in her bedroom in her dressing gown dim figures are the tenants climbed the stairs hester comes through to the kitchen and sits on the table lost in thought she goes to the desk and picks up the phone hello no he's not yes it is who's that oh yes oh good evening oh I don't know when he'll be back what time is it now 11:10 is it as late as that oh no no I wasn't sleeping just reading that's all well yes I'm expecting him home very soon yes it's about the golf is it she makes a note now he has your number doesn't he great all right good night she pulls the patient in her book tightest the desk and drifts back to the hall pinning the note to a pinboard above the coat racks in the kitchen she takes a plate and suppose piece of toast with butter our gaze is drawn to the coin on the table hearing a sound she turns then sits at the table unsettled shira's the front window and stares out into the dark a breeze ruffles the curtains she sits at a desk by the window she glances at the door and goes to unbolt it mrs.

Elton puzzles in hello I just thought I'd pop up and see how you guys mr.

Page not saying no don't you have the fire on to turn Oh No thank you fancy not join the cut excuse me good evening and whoosh good evening mrs.

page I just wondered if Philip was here by any chance Philip Oh your husband no why should he be I thought perhaps mr.

Page was back and is he with him yes I think so well well I don't know I didn't want to go with him because I had some work to do but still they've been gone nearly two hours now thank you she likes pregnant and cigarette where did you meet him we were having our dinner at the Belvedere mr.

Page was in the bar and then he came up and sat at our table oh I see of course we hardly know him at all you know but he was very nice and friendly and said that he wanted company and he gave us a brandy each and then after that he asked Philip to go on with him to this new club for a few moment what new club oh great a car remember the name how is he do you mean was he drunk yes well I wouldn't actually say drunk of course that was two hours ago Philip doesn't drink at all of course so that's all right the only thing is I know it's awfully silly of me I'm not very good at being left alone yes mrs.

Welch I understand oh I wouldn't worry I'm sure your husband will be home very soon yes I expect so oh well if he does come in here send him straight upward oh oh good night good night and Goo's do you remember the name of that new club mrs.

Alton no dear I don't I remember car it has two finds it the crow's nest something like that mr.

tiles hello tell me it's mr.

page there mr.

page yes that's right yes how long ago half an hour I see do you know how you went oh no no it doesn't matter oh yes if he comes back will you tell him his wife of course no hold on hold on hold on a minute waiter don't tell him anything anything at all no no message good night I can't understand how he could go and do a thing like that leaving you alone tonight after what happened mrs.

Allison don't you have any work to do yes dear plenty she stubs out her cigarette I'm sorry you don't need to tell me you couldn't mean to be unkind you're not that salt I'll let you into a little secret you're my favorite tenant Am I sad isn't it how one always seems to prefer nice people to good people don't you think oh good evening mr.

Miller you're back from your work early how are you tonight mrs.

page quite well do you usually work this late sometimes what have you gotten that formidable-looking bad oh it's nothing mr.

Miller I don't like to ask you but I wanted to just have a look at mr.

Elton tonight he's bad again thank you ever so much I'm very grateful you shouldn't have asked him that about the bag dear he hates to tell I'm sorry I was only the curious just talking for the sake of talking if I were you dear I wouldn't use this thing again tonight she takes the receiver from Hester why not go to bed and I'll bring you a nice warm drink or I'll get dr.

Miller to give you one of his sleeping pills yes of course here's a doctor isn't he well he was oh I see yes I thought you'd been in some sort of trouble how do you fairly feeling I suppose yes he was in trouble once bad trouble don't say I told you will you for mr.

Miller I'm sorry for him he's so ashamed of people knowing did he tell you about it how do you just after he'd come here there was a letter for him addressed to Kurt Miller MD well then of course I remembered the case because for them quite a lot in the papers about it of course I didn't let on to him I knew but he guessed I did alright because one day when I was saying how tidy he always kept his room well he said mrs.

Elton I suppose tidiness it's the only lesson I ever did learn in jail just like that that was the only time you ever mentioned it but it was quite soon after that he volunteered to look after mr.

Elton I think it's a wicked shame the way they've treated him imagine a man like that being a bookmakers Clarke there's waste for you if you like why did he accept the job because beggars can't be choosers dear and if a patient of his that was a bookie takes pity on him well he's got to eat doesn't say anyway I can tell you what's in that bag if you really want to know sure it's a quilt round Hester he goes and works every night in a hospital for infantile paralysis unpaid course that was his speciality before apparently he was working on some sort of treatment well won't he ever get back on the medical register oh no not a hope I should say do you know what they're like and what he did wasn't well the sort of thing people forgive very easily ordinary normal people I mean but you forgiven it mrs.

Elton well I see far too much of life in this place to get upset by that sort of thing takes all sorts to make a world after all doesn't it upstairs Miller pads to the landing there was a couple ones in number 11 and oh I can hear him on the stairs she runs the door letting me let in I'll go down and get mr.

Elton ready shall I wonder if you'd be kind enough to give mrs.

page one of your sleeping pills sort of that already good well goodnight dear if you want anything just give me a ring I'll be up with mr.

Elton most of the night anyway Esther takes the pills thank you doctor I've asked you before not to call me that oh sorry I keep forgetting are you going to bed now uh in a moment don't let that moment be too long everyone's being very solicitous of me this evening are you surprised voices carry on the stairs in this house Freddy's and mine he brings her glass of water everyone heard us I suppose well those respectable tenants nudging each other saying there goes that woman's drunken boyfriend walking out on her Wow serves her right I didn't say that but then of course I may not be a respectable tenant what should I do what makes you think that I can tell you that how close did you come to the gas fire once he stares at the floor mrs.

Elton now you asked my advice I tell you take those pills and go to sleep in the morning go on living bill lets himself in damn don't apologize I've got to see you yes that is the most specific advice that I can give you good night Minnie goes boom ancestor a letter I don't know it was fine about 20 minutes ago who dropped it in the box without ringing the bell Esther reads it it is true I suppose yes it's true when this afternoon just after you left what was the reason what happened last night that's why he was drunk all afternoon he said we were death to each other do you know Veritas so drunk when he said that and he has more perception than I give him credit for she has the letter back what's he going to do taking a job as a test pilot in South America rather like this phrase sorry to have caused so much bother what a nice ring of RAF understatement about it he scrambles the page I am awfully sorry for you Hester Oh bad happens sooner or later I suppose I do have a faint inkling of how you must be feeling at this moment I might oh now you're looking very smart where have you been tonight oh I had people into dinner Oh Oliver the precedents an American judge of his wife was out of on good form yes Fanny she said one day for anything and what was that oh no I do remember and now that I know the remember it's not that funny at all it must've been the way that she said it she told she told the American judge that he had a face like an angry Cupid angry keepers just here he'll say that like an angry Cupid her face compass still goes to her and takes her hand I do say something that would help you it must be small comfort at this moment but you must see this is for the best yourself spoke of an affinity didn't you sorry but I couldn't help that I must get you out of this flatus soon as possible if I didn't I think you should be enough to learn in it at all I'll be all right no I think you should leave here tonight tonight yes well you were left alone here last night weren't you where could I go I could make a tentative suggestion in fact it's the same suggestion the Freddie makes in that letter she pulls her hand away well that's impossible have you forgotten so quickly when I told you this after bees bell she goes to the kitchen now I expect you'll be wanting a drink yeah good idea I keep forgetting Freddie's finished all the whistle it doesn't matter Oh hold on here we are claret great I uncorked it last night from the local grocer god knows what your fastidious palate will make of it sure it's delicious she finds teacups he fools them well so speak the future our future the future they separate and drink how is it that's very good it's a future to be I haven't thought yet do you think you should well that's down here for a bit if I can then I'll try and find a studio I'll be able to work harder then if I can't tell my paintings I'll get a job sort of job well there must be something I can do you contemplate living alone for the rest of your life I don't contemplate anything bill I'm not exactly in the contemporary I'd like you to contemplate a very different future mr.

Cod you see what I'm offering you see how difficult it is for me to refuse you hi why did you refuse because I must because I can't pay back to you as your wife because I no longer am your wife you see Makar just wipe away this last year as if it never happened do you understand that well I understand as if I'm even more in love with you now than I was on our wedding day he went in love with me on our wedding day you're not in love with me now and you never have been I'm simply surprised possession he became more prized having been stolen that's awesome no you're forcing me to say these things do you think I want to hurt you above all people now why don't you go away and we can do it both talk whit when we both come back now you say that I didn't love you when I married you then why else did I marry what else did you have to offer me I was very aware of what a bad match I was I I'm not denying that you married me for your idea of love just like I married you for my idea of love the trouble is they just weren't the same ideas that's all the truth is I had more to give you far more than you ever wanted for me shiet you know that I wanted your love no bill you simply wanted a loving wife there is all the difference in the world if I'd have stood on a job do you think I know exactly how you fish Eliezer your future girl never let go of a master he goes to touch up it turns away turns back and embraces her she cleans them why can't you accept it up the road at work quite happily once he kisses her hard on the lips for a moment her resistance softens he takes his lips away you see bill I no longer am the same person I think you better go I'll be all right he turns away wiping his mouth with the back of his hand still want your divorce Anna that would be best there'll be things to discuss business things yes I said well I mean time you're right for money please spell there are a few feet apart he eases off his wedding ring walks back and strokes her cheek throwing the ring on the table he lets himself out she stands bewildered and adds her ring to his she walks through the bedroom and into the bathroom Philip lets himself in its page you see he lent me a key he wanted me to pick up his suitcase he's got all his washing things in it apparently he says he needs them for tonight where's he came tonight I don't know where is he now I don't know what the place is called where is it somewhere in the West oh it's Greeks I don't know oh I see how long have you been with him since 9:00 can do naught for lots of talking in three hours especially when he's drunk he's not drunk at least what he says makes sense does it lady call you may I say something Paige has been very frank with me very frank indeed although I didn't invite his confidence so I know the whole situation you see and I do understand what you must be feeling at this moment do you mr.

Welch I've been in love too you know in fact about a year ago now I nearly had a bust-up in my marriage over a sort of infatuation I had for a girl quite the wrong sort of type really and it would have been disastrous but I do know what it means to have to give someone up whom you think you love look do you think this is awfully impertinent of me not at all well I do think you ought to sort of try and steel yourself to what I'm quite sure it's the best course for both of you gosh I know how hard it is but I do remember with this girl and she was an actress you know well she wasn't well-known or anything I just sat down all alone one day and I said to myself look on the physical side she's everything in the world you want but on the other side what is she nothing so what I did was to write her a letter and then I went away for a fortnight all by myself and of course I had hell but gradually things became sort of clearer in my head and when I got back I was out of the wood I'm so glad where is it you won't Lyme Regis ah a pretty spot I know it well plus I think for you someplace like Italy or the South of France would be better oh I better than Lyme Regis well complete change of atmosphere you know nice weather nobody you know and lots of time to think things out and I know that if you do think things out honestly you'll see how awfully petty the whole thing really is when you get it in perspective I mean now try to sound preachy or anything it is really the spiritual values that count in this life isn't it I mean the physical side is really awfully unimportant objectively speaking don't you think objectively speaking well it really is very kind of you to give me this advice mr.

Welch I'm very grateful that's all right I'm glad you didn't fly it before it you see Paige has been telling me about it all never really was awfully interested because the thing like this it throws the sort of light on human nature really well yes I suppose it does well may I have the back now please oh yes it's just through that door she just says vaguely he goes through to the bedroom leaving Hester in the living room I thought Dawn's where did Freddie tell you to take the bag to a station or somewhere just back to the white angel will you put that bag down now please and go afraid I can't do that I I promised I'd bring it she looks the front door sorry suggested but I must detain you for a moment or two I won't take long the data remains of bottled claret there if you'd like it no thank you oh no no no that key won't work it's a separate lock please sit down this is your splendid opportunity of resuming your study of human nature she picks up the phone hello tell me is mr.

Paige there yes Freddie page he is yes it's it's mr.

Jackson it's Jackson mrs.

Jackson that's right it's awfully loud in it Phillip retreats to the kitchen chair I promise they promise those I was just phoning up to find out about your job that's all yes how did it go off oh good oh good darling well done how soon as soon as that Oh God pretty no no no just hearing you say it like that that's off no no your messages here for your bag but only hasn't got half of what you wanted it for three days what will you where will you be staying until you leave no no you needn't tell me I just meant um town or country that's all now let's think you got your flannels in your bags you'll just need your tweed coat oh yes but what do you want done with the rest of your things when did you post it I guess it's tomorrow then the cloakroom at Charing Cross yes I see yes I can do that no there's one more there's one more thing I'd like you to do Freddie before you go I said there's one thing I'd like you to do before you go Freddie would you come and collect the bag yourself I just want to see you again that's all surely there's no harm try to make you stay I promise I promise I won't try and make you stay I'm home I'm a sacred solemn Rite of Honor I went my way I won't even talk if you don't want me to you could just you could just come in here you can take her back and then you could go again I just I just want to say goodbye just trust me just just no no no no no don't ring off don't ring off Freddie German she replaces the receiver stepping away from it as Philip gets up didn't you say something about a tweed coat yes if in the bedroom ester drift slowly towards the fireplace good night Oh your wife is rather worried about you BAPS you better slip up see her before you go out again yes I will you're alright when your own aren't you I mean you're not going to do anything silly tonight you must have learnt your lesson from last night yes I learnt my lesson I'm awfully sorry really I am thank you I think you ought to have come to fetch us things himself so do I of course I understood him not wanting to come around when he thought you might try and stop him it's still after you gave him your sacred solemn word of honor just now might add a little to appreciation of spiritual values mr.

Welch to know that I hadn't the slightest intention of keeping that sacred solemn word of honor Freddie had come I made him stay of course he knew that perfectly well that's why you didn't come you've got exactly the same expression on your faces my father would have had if I said that to him he believed in spiritual values too you know and the pettiness of the physical sight would you take that bag – Freddie now please do you have enough money for taxi sorry thank you can I should I could page any sort of message from you or anything just my love but it goes I lied to roommates the staircase but it climbs zigzagging to an upper landing twisting the pills and her fingers her face distraught hester walks through the dominican chin to the sink she pours herself a glass of water and returns to the living area passing the table she picks up the shilling checking the doors locked she inserts it in a meter from the upper floors neighbors descend Esther takes a rug from the chair and laces in front of the door to block the draught she turns out the lamp as the blue light of early dawn filters through the windows shutting the open window has to mousse her painting and gathers up a quilt she picks up the bottle of pills and takes them with her she spreads out the quilt on the floor who's this with a bunt to the fireplace she sinks down [Music] she drinks in the glass just go to bed screwing up her face she puts down the glass raises the sash and speaks through the locked door she opens it he skips up the rug actually I was just about to take your pills dr.

Saul I see I wonder if they're strong enough I wonder if I could have a another two or three answer is No why not I've been involved enough with the police I don't want to be accused now of giving drugs to a suicidal speckly if you put it rug down in front of a door it's wiser to do it when the lights are on it grabs the bottle flushes the pills don't sink that choice is yours and you have quite enough courage to make it for yourself yes courage doesn't it take courage to condemn yourself to death most suicides die to escape you're dying because you feel unworthy to live there so hard about facing life most people seem to be able to manage it quite easily if you can live without hope you can live without despair words can help you with your mind head on the grassland listen to me your Freddie has left you he's never going to come back again never in the world never she drops to the floor millenials with her I got a city boy yes you can that word never face that and you can face life get beyond hope it's your only chance what is if your life you must believe that it's true I know he sits alongside her no but you still have some reason to go on path what happens to go on living you have your work at the hospital for me the only purpose in life is to live it my work at the hospital is help to me in that that is all if you looked around perhaps you might find some help for yourself your work – he just cysts the paintings he picks one up I am NOT an art expert but I believe that there was talent here hmm just a spark which the little feeding might have become a little flame not a great fire that could have a loom in the world I'm not saying that but the world is a dark enough place for even a little flicker to be welcoming he said spanked town I'd like to buy this how much it's a gift he stands a post cash from his pocket I'm going to put these notes down here this is what I can afford to give you not what I think the picture is worth she gets up if you're determined not to sell it then you can slip those notes into an envelope and address them to me I will understand and I will be sorry good night good night doctor not doctor what good night my friend and I could wish that you meant that what makes you so certain I don't mean it I hope I maybe give any proof that you do tomorrow more you want me to make my choice in order to help you surely I have a right to feel sad if I lose a newfound friend especially one whom I so much like and respect respect yes respect please it'd be too kind listen to see yourself as the world sees you may be very brave but it can also be very foolish why should you accept the world's view of you who has a weak will neurotic better dead than alive what right have they to judge to judge you they must have the capacity to feel as you feel and who has one in a thousand you alone know how you have felt you alone know how unequal the battle has always been that your will has had to fight if you could just find me one single reason however small I could respect myself Freddie walks in hello you must find that reason for yourself Mina goose no no no not really Mila yes you don't oh did you come for the back yes that boy took it with him oh well leave it at the angel I'll get it alright coming Freddie don't just stand in the door he settles in how are you feeling now alright thank you for coming shouldn't have sent the kid anywhere I suppose have you eaten yes had a bite at the Belvedere what about you well I'll get some myself something to eat later so when exactly after we have Thursday I told you oh yes of course by boat isn't unknown flying London West Africa then across to natal sounds exciting I don't know by the way about the rent my golf club should fetch 30 or 40 quid they'll take care of old Marv Elton and a few odd bills when you need them can't fly them well I'll pack the rest of your things up to now and get them over to Charing Cross first thing in the morning re you faces hair across the room and so it's closer it's down here for a bet I imagine I dropped a note in and Bill's house will probably be round yes he's been round oh no I'm sorry it's all right it works no I suppose not I didn't know you'll carry on with your painting will you yes I expect so actually as a matter of fact I'm thinking of going to an art school starting from the beginning again good idea it's never too late to begin again cousin never they say yes holding her arm he listens her dressing gown bends to kiss her by goodbye house slowly Freddie makes for the door double smacks lips his arms around her waist and plants a kiss on her lips I'm gonna miss you hiss he steps away and walks to the door she retires her gown goodbye he goes Esther buckles mouth open in a silent scream [Applause] she walks through to the kitchen lights the hob purchase a frying pan ancestor on the heat adding a knob of butter she cracks an egg into the pan drops the shell into the bin strides across the space she clears the lid of the trunk that's used as a table and props it open she takes Freddie's jacket pressing it to her lips cradling the fabric inhaling its scent looks to the kitchen and trop said she hurries to the frying pan and flips the egg laser slice of bread on plate spread it with the butter she takes the egg from the pan and lays it on top she turns off the gas sitting side on to the table she lifts the bread timer and takes a bite turning to face the table she tucks in as the lights fade to black and the lights brighten on an empty stage is the company return and lineup Miller was played by Nick Fletcher Philip by Hubert Burton Freddy by Tom Burke Jackie by Eddie Tommy where Eden bill by Peter Sullivan mrs.

Elton by Marion Bailey and hester by Helen McCrory the company leave is how McCrory returns for a single bow she gestures for the others to join her and the principal's return to bow again they leave the stage [Applause] National Theatre live on screen there's a list of cast and crew director Carrie Cracknell designer Tom Scott lighting designer guy Hall music Stewart Earl you audio description by Louise fryer and rose charmers as you enjoy this recorded performance please consider a donation to support this great industry to support the National Theatre please visit national theatre or Guk txt NT at home 10 to 7 w 85 to donate 10 pounds takes NT at home 20 to 7 mm 85 to donate 20 pounds text is only available on UK networks will cost your donation amount plus one standard message words on screen National Theatre live you.

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